What the Water Gave me is you
by Eaasybugboy
Summary: He's a bartender and he's the love of her life, Emma finally came around her biggest fears and faced the sea, Killian trying to figure out what comes next. Because happy ending doesn't come with an "The end" at the bottom of the page. Tale of lovers and friends trying to figure out how to swim in the big sea. Sequel of What The Water Gave Me
1. Brand New life

**What the Water Gave me is you: **

**Chapter One, I'm like drowning in you.**

* * *

"Goal!" Victor yelled next to Killian, pretty much making his ears bleed. "Goal! Did you see this beauty? This is just magic right here, Jones. Magic, I'm telling you."

Killian laughed, still busy with cleaning the glasses from the bar while the guys cried, or drank, or both at the same time, asking him and Ariel to refill their glasses. It made him happy, to see Jeff and Victor here with him tonight - although he was busy; game nights were the worst: drunk people, heavy service, a lot of work and late closing time.

But it was fine, his friends had decided to come over to be with him, hang out for a while and try to put back the pieces of their friendship together - the band, the good old ones, with their banter and their guy nights, talking about their girls - now that they were all dating it was quite funny, or, like Victor would say, actually "boring as fuck because you're all whipped as fuck". That was, of course, right before Ruby had called and asked him to go to the shop to bring her something.

Jefferson had come around, but Killian could see in his best friend's eyes the way he disapproved or at least felt uncomfortable about this whole thing, but even though Killian could feel the awkwardness in their every conversation, he just bit his anger off, thinking of Swan waiting at home, studying for her exams.

Emma was working hard, trying to get back to her university and her studies, after what had happened to her with Neal, she had sort of given up and worked as a waitress for some time, before finding a job in a sheriff's office where her past as an ex-student in law school was appreciated. She was working her ass off to get back into the game, spending nights reading, nose down in her books writing notes until she passed out. Killian would take her back to bed once he came back home, or, if he ended being too late, he would wake her up with a good coffee - as a bartender, he had the responsibility to make a decent coffee if not the better one.

Emma had always loved his coffee.

Killian had never thought for a single second - it would have been reckless of him to do so, that his life with Emma would be anything but easy. Not that he had asked for anything different; they had gotten lazy in the past, and he had thought they were okay and she had left him. Life with her was as easy as it was complicated and messy, yet, every single second of it was worth it.

"Earth to Killian, Earth to Killian", Victor waved his hand in front of him, looking bored and mostly annoyed by his current state. With his elbow, he placed the drink in from of Killian, his "you're dumb or what" look saying everything. "Are you ever going to fill these glasses? Or were you too busy with thinking of Swan's boobs?"

"Ew, gross, man."

Jefferson slapped the back of Victor's head, his lips twisting down into a grimace. "She's my sister, remember it." He chewed his peanuts before taking another sip of his beer, and Killian knew better than add anything, so he did what he was supposed to do, just polishing the glasses Ariel had brought him to clean.

"I'm pretty sure Jones doesn't remember that when he's in the middle of the action."

Wrong, horrible move. Killian looked frozen, while Victor lifted his hand up, waiting for the ultimate high five, a stupid grin on his face as he nodded in the best Barney Stinson way.

"What is wrong with you, mate?" Killian's face was scrunched into a grimace, his eyes drifting to Emma's brother, watching his reaction carefully, sending him "it's not me it's him" vibes.

(Jeff's expression was something close to throwing up and eating something disgusting all at once.)

Anyway, Killian offered him another beer, just to wipe that look of his face; he knew there was no point arguing, and he didn't exactly want to fight with neither Jefferson nor Victor.

"You're such a hypocrite pussy."

"I think you drank too much." Killian tried to take his drink away from him, but Victor brushed him off, making a stupid animal-like groan.

"And I remember a talk with you not so long ago about certain lingerie-"

Before he had time to finish, Ariel shoved some nuts into his mouth. "Didn't your mama told you it's disrespectful to talk about women like that."

"Thank you, Ariel." Jefferson told her with a smile, giving her a nod over Victor's head. "You should go home Vic, before I start hitting you."

"Oh! But if there's anyone to blame here, it's Jones, he's the one doing your-" He quickly stopped when he saw Ariel's expression, hand in the bowl of nuts. "He's the one dating your sister."

"Seriously, Victor, get out." Killian disapproved between his teeth, feeling suddenly extremely mad at his best friend for ruining the night, one that had started quite nicely, with a not so much pissed and stuck with a broom in his ass Jefferson, and now with this stupidity due to the excess of alcohol, everything was going downhill.

Victor shuddered and then headed to the bathroom, leaving them alone and in an awkward silence, where none of them talked; even Ariel decided that it was not worth staying, the atmosphere heavy and electric.

And Killian had no explanation as to what caused this tension or this distance between them; when asked or pointed out, Emma had told him it probably had nothing to do with him. Proof was, Jefferson was not talking and doing everything to avoid him since things had gone better between Emma and Killian.

Nobody had told him that being with Emma Swan would cost him two of his best friends.

One refused to speak to him, and the other refused to even look him in the eyes.

Turning around, he told Ariel he was going to the backroom, to grab some more bottles and bring some ice. He wouldn't be the victim of Jefferson's silent treatment and he wouldn't stay there being accused of something he wasn't the only one guilty of.

When Ariel tried to stop him and ask him what was going on, he simply ignored her. Enough, he thought, enough.

xxx

It was close to 4 a.m. when he came home that night, and Emma was sleeping on her books like he had thought she would be, her hair falling over her shoulders and face.

Had the ink been still wet, Emma would have had writing all over her cheeks.

Stepping closer, Killian put his arm around her, while he nuzzled her hair with his nose. "Wake up sleepy head, let's put you to bed." He kissed the skin right under her ear, before she shifted in his arms. "Come on, let's go."

"Hum…" Emma groaned and even drooled over her books before he finally lifted her up, carrying her to their bed, her arm sloppily wrapping itself around his neck.

Their apartment, which was his to begin with, was a little bit too small for two people, but quite nice nevertheless, if you didn't count the bed being in the same room as the living room, and if you liked having dinner on your bed. If Killian didn't have any problems with this place until now, it was turning quite tiny for him and Emma together so it was a good thing he was working out most of the time, letting her have his place all for herself.

She had made quite a few arrangements, and he was welcoming them; he had never been the kind to settle down and care about decoration. But somehow, with Emma he had found a way to stay and make a life without waiting, and judging by the way she stole the covers during the night, so did she.

"You're late." She mumbled, hugging him tighter as he laid down in the bed with her, his arm sneaking under her so he could pull her back to his chest.

"I know, I'm sorry." His lips found the tip of her nose, before he rubbed her back. "I'm here now. Go back to sleep."

"You're an idiot." A smile crossed over her lips, eyes still closed when he pressed a kiss on her mouth, slightly, kissing her tiny grin; she still tasted like coffee but it had been useless to drink it since she had fallen asleep.

"Your idiot."

And he thought to hell with Jefferson, to hell with Graham and his fucked up friends for not understanding his motivations or his love for this woman. Holding her in his arms, his nose in her hair, Killian was pretty sure that was the very definition of heaven on earth.

* * *

xxx

* * *

"Killian, I told you again you're seeing things, he's not like that." Emma said from the bathroom, putting on some make up while he was still lying in bed, having his shift starting at 5 p.m. today.

If he was the night person, Emma was definitely a morning person, and she was the one making coffee this time.

"I don't know; he really gave me that impression last night. He barely spoke two words."

Rubbing his forehead, Killian rolled over and shoved his head further into the pillow, his arms right under it as he lied on his stomach. The night had been quite hot, he had taken off his shirt during the night, almost waking up Emma in the process - he blamed sleepy feet.

"You're quite the adorable figure here." Emma showed up in the doorframe, glasses on her nose, making her way to the bed before sitting down, her hips close to his, her hand in his hair.

"I'm pretty sure adorable is an insult if you ask me."

"I'm pretty sure it's meant to just say, you're an adorable boyfriend with this kind of hair. It suits you."

"It's called bed hair, and it's sexy, not adorable." He grunted in his pillow, opening an eye to look at her again. "It would be called hair sex if you weren't so eager to leave me." And to mark his words, he rolled on his back, trying to tug her down to him, but resisted, giggling.

"You know I would love to, but I need to go get a book for my studies, if I don't get it today, I'm going to be late."

Bloody hell. He hated and loved the way she was so serious. Without his permission, his own hand went to her face to cup the apple of her cheek, his thumb brushing over her lips.

"I think it's the first time I see you wearing those glasses."

Her tongue came out to gently press against his thumb, her teeth teasingly biting his skin. As if she wasn't teasing him enough already. "I'm pretty sure it's not the first is it?"

"Believe me minx, if it weren't the case, I would remember it." Killian didn't miss the opportunity and sat up, both arms going around her waist and pulling her back in their bed, so she was now on her back, his body pressing against hers and pinning her down. His lips fell in her neck, making her giggle while her legs wrapped themselves around his waist, even though her hands were on his chest, trying to push him away.

"You really need to stop." She keened, trying to pry herself out of his arms, but his caresses got the best of her, her hands finding their way in his hair and finally bringing his mouth right to hers. Her kisses were intoxicating, always making him want more and more, her lips parting beneath his, allowing him to push his tongue further in to tangle with hers.

"You're not adorable, I take it back." Emma said after a while, when they both needed to break apart for air, her nose caressing his. "You're far too tempting, and you're not helping me."

"It's 8 a.m." He groaned, kissing her shoulder, his fingers tapping against her glasses before taking them off, setting them next to her. "Be nice, I'm still sleepy."

"Yeah, right, you don't seem really sleepy to me, you're very much awake."

As id this wasn't enough, Emma hooked her leg around his hip, not for more pleasant activities, oh no, that was not knowing the lass, and rolled him on his back - because he let her do it so, mind you - straddling him in the most torturous way. "Aren't you quite well settled right here, Swan?" He hummed, sitting up only to savor the perfume in her neck, kissing the hollow of her throat.

"Don't make me late." She shoved him away until his back was on the bed, her hands keeping him in place. "If I go now, and if I study how I need to, I will be back before you even notice I'm gone."

"I don't want to wait for tonight." He grumbled, but she was right, and making her late wasn't a nice thing to do; their schedules didn't fit quite well together, there were days he barely had the chance to see her awake, and aside from the sex he missed, he also missed going out with her, just being with her for a whole day.

"That's what I say every day when you leave for your shift." Emma rested her body above his, her head in her hand, her elbow right next to his head. "Sometimes I think you spend more time with her than with me."

He hadn't seen that one coming, though he should have known better. If Emma's jealousy or anger toward Ariel had diminished with time, and with Killian's reassuring words, she still didn't like it much, even though Ariel made sure to be nice and even had told her she was happily dating Eric; it was still hard for her.

"Emma." His fingers combed in her hair, brushing it tenderly away from her forehead. "You should know by now that I have only one type - blond one, green eyes, and with a pretty ring on her right hand." Holding the said hand to his lips, Killian pressed a kiss on her knuckles.

"What about this? I could come at the bar with Jeff and Victor and this way I could be the stranger coming to a bar flirting with the very sexy and very single bartender", absentmindedly, her fingers brushed over the necklace and the band hanging around his neck, her teeth worrying her bottom lips.

"I think I'd rather have you alone than Vic and Jeff joining the party."

Emma hit him in the shoulder, before pressing a kiss to his cheek and getting up. "You can't turn your back on your friends, they are as important as I am in the end, and you need them too."

"Is it bad that I just want to spend time with you?"

Grabbing her bags and putting her black jacket on, Emma gave him a look, "See you tonight, be nice and be pretty."

"You said I was adorable like that!" He gestured to his half naked state, faking to be offended.

"Yeah, but that's just me." She winked before disappearing behind the door.

* * *

xxx

* * *

Being bartender had its inconveniences as well at its advantages: a lot of drinks, but really few occasions to actually drink, and when those came, Killian would generally settle down for something with less alcohol; a beer with Emma once in a while, and with the boys preferably a Guinness.

It took him home in a single sip.

Plus, it was quite nice and pleasant that he had gotten Emma hooked on it.

Victor and Jefferson were supposed to pass by, and to be quite honest, Killian wasn't thrilled about it; Emma was going to come by and he knew she wasn't still really okay around Victor. These two had a hard time getting over their anger and bitterness, though Victor was the one holding a grunge.

"Mate solidarity." He had invoked as a divine right.

At least he hadn't talked about "bros over hoes", which would have pissed Killian off.

Being around Victor lately was not easy; he drank too much, which was causing Killian's trouble with his boss, who wasn't really eager to allow his troubling behavior. Not that he would get violent, but he would get too loud, too outspoken and too difficult to contain.

"Another!" He yelled from the corner of the bar, waiting all alone - of course - of fucking course Jefferson had decided not to come, or was late if he even had in mind to make them the pleasure and honor of his presence.

Rubbing his jaw, Killian made his way to the end of the counter, not even bothering to bring a drink with him.

"So what is going on with you buddy?"

"You never call me buddy."

"That is because you never deserved it before." There was a ring to his voice while he tried to bring out a smile from his friend's mouth, however, it didn't quite work and Victor only sat straighter in his seat, shrugging in discomfort.

"There's a lot of things I don't deserve."

"Enough with the pity party." Killian gave him a drink, which made Victor lift an questioning eyebrow.

"What's that?"

"Water, you need to calm down." Killian said, resting his elbows on the counter, eying Ariel who, in a quick look, understood what he meant - he needed his break right now, right this second.

"Coming from you, it's quite the joke, Killian, I remember you, a year ago, crying in my skirt because the love of your life had let you down."

"How do you think I made it? Because you were here with me, trying to help me go through this crisis. Tell me at least what happened with Ruby, I could try to help you."

Victor didn't even look up to meet his stare, playing with the sticker of the empty beer bottle he was holding. There was something about his friend that he didn't quite understand right now. And the thought saddened him, felt like a betrayal.

"You don't get it Killian, even if you tried, you couldn't get it." He gestured to Ariel to bring him another beer, and this time Killian didn't say anything.

"Humor me, try to explain it to me."

"You can't get it because that's how you are too!" Victor exploded, "Ruby wants to get married, and not the small kind of wedding no, she has a book Killian, a fucking book full of those dresses, and ideas for flowers, she even knows the fucking color of her napkins! I don't even know if I want napkins! I don't even want to get married!"

Killian remained speechless, not moving an inch.

"You want this, Killian, you want a peachy color for your wedding napkins and that's not me, I don't want it, I'm dreaming of being a surgeon, and you know what, I'm almost there, I'm getting there because I work my ass off to get it, and I'm fucking good at it, I know I am. But there's Ruby, she makes plans."

"Plans that aren't yours." Killian finished off for him, and finally got his attention.

"I don't know." Victor shrugged, before resting his forehead on the counter of the bar, "That's the problem, I guess I do, I love her", his voice was muffed by his position, though Killian could tell it wasn't just because of the way he sat but because of the emotion, something Victor would never admit to if asked. "I just don't want to think about it now, I don't see myself married now."

"And Ruby doesn't get it?"

"I don't know about that either."

"What, you mean you're drinking alone here without saying a thing to her?"

Victor chuckled darkly. "I don't exactly want to be having this conversation with you, so even less Ruby."

"You see me flattered."

"I didn't want to talk to you." Victor thanked Ariel when she bought him his beer and started drinking, "I know you want all of this with Emma, and it's a surprise you two aren't tying the knot already."

"She isn't ready yet", Killian mumbled, not deal with this subject tonight, especially with Victor in this state.

"Yeah sure, she's always going to run away from you and you're going to end up in worse off than before, and I will again patch you up, because that's what doctors do."

That was more than enough. Killian thought, straightening up, hands shaking at his side. "Alright, I think we're done here."

"Yeah, right." Victor bit back.

Killian tried to come up with something but his eyes caught Emma's silhouette at the door, and there was no regret when he left Victor for her, trying not to pay attention to what his supposed friend said when he took his leave, the dish rag hanging on his shoulder as he jogged toward her.

He was trying to convince himself he hadn't hear Victor calling him a lovesick puppy.

"Hey!" Emma's warm smile put some balm on his mood tonight, his chest feeling lighter now that she was there. Killian bent down to press his lips against her temple, his right arm around her waist as he walked her to the table he had kept for her.

"Oh Victor is there." She commented as she took her seat, settling her purse on the one next to her, "Is he alright?"

Killian observed her for a moment before rolling his eyes. "Dammit, you know about this already don't you?"

Emma waved it off, her hand putting a curl behind her ear, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You're an awful liar," Killian put his hand on her face, forcing her to look him in the eyes, "For someone who values her sixth sense of being able to call out lies, you're terrible at saying them."

"I thought we had agreed that you and I don't really fit into that equation, since it's not working on you."

If her words had meant to be teasing, the double meaning behind them got to Killian, and he pulled away. He wasn't a stranger to Emma's fears and issues about him leaving her high and dry, which was getting exhausting for him, both physically and mentally - it was like running after someone, and trying to show them it was alright, like trying to keep a fire burning in the rain; sometimes, his relationship with Emma felt like that: a never-ending fight.

"Hey." Emma caught his hand and brought it back to her lap. "Maybe you should try to talk to Vic, see if he's okay."

"Really?" He didn't hide his surprise, "I thought… I thought you wanted to spend the night with me here."

Emma crossed her arms on the table, leaning in so her breath was fanning his cheek, "I know what we had planned, but I also know I'm keeping you away from your friends, and despite how much I want to resent Victor… He was there for you when I wasn't."

Not having anything else to say about the subject, Killian leaned in to press a soft kiss to her lips, his hand cradling her head. "I love you."

Emma cocked her head to the side, licking her lips, making it really hard to go back to his friend right this second. "You better-" Her mouth was an inch away from his, "remember that because I'm about to go home, to lay down", her lips left kisses over his jaw, her nose nuzzling his cheek, "all naked in my big cold and lonely bed."

"Our bed." Killian corrected, his mouth suddenly dry as he stared at her, his thumb stroking that dimple on her chin, "You know you're making it hard for me to be a good friend. I would very much like to show you what a great boyfriend I can be."

Emma chuckled, her hand falling on his thigh. "I hope you remember this tonight." She kissed his cheek and got up, taking her purse with her. "Go talk to him, I'm okay, don't worry."

"You sure about that?"

Something felt wrong about leaving her, but at the same time, it felt wrong to leave Victor in his misery too. Absentmindedly, Killian reached for her hand and played with her ring, the one he had given her.

"Killian," her hand came up to cup his cheek, her thumb caressing the scar decorating his skin, "I'm going to be home waiting for you."

"With a cup of cocoa." Killian added, playing with her hair, trying to play it cool, but she seemed okay, so why was he freaking out so much, he wondered.

"And with cinnamon. Don't forget the cinnamon." Emma poked his nose with hers, giving him one last kiss. "I will see you later tonight. Talk to him, God knows he needs it." She said in a secretive way, but he knew better than to ask - or to make a scene here. He would talk to her later.

He watched her leave without trying to say something, her hair flying around her shoulders as she left.

* * *

xxx

* * *

"I fucking hate this beach."

"Yeah, you haven't stopped behaving like a child since we left the bar, I get it, now move on", Killian groaned in his beard, walking in the sand as fast as possible, Victor barely keeping up with him. He kept his head up, not really looking behind him; he had thought that a walk out in the fresh air near the sea would have cleaned his friend's ideas, but the truth was, he was an asshole and hadn't stopped complaining that this place was lacking alcohol.

"We shouldn't have left the bar."

Killian turned around, "Yeah, thank you, you said that four times already, I got it, now you get over it and you stop acting like it's the end of the world!"

Something in the words Killian used made Victor start, his expression falling into a weird grimace, his hands closing into fists as he came to Killian's height, nose to nose.

"You are fucking bold to say that to my face, you've been nothing but a crying baby a year ago and you didn't see me telling you to fuck off or taking away your drinks! You can be so fucking selfish Killian!"

Anger ran through his veins. "Selfish? Is that all you have to say to me?! That's what you think of me? I left Emma alone when I was supposed to have a night with her! And why was that? Because you needed me and I decided to stay!"

"How freaking charitable of you, Jones! What do you want from me? To kiss your ass for doing me this favor?" His index finger poked Killian in the chest repeatedly. "I'm so done with you shit!"

"What the fuck is your problem Victor? I have no idea what I did to you and I surely don't deserve your anger!"

Victor shoved him in the shoulder, forcing him to take a step back. "You have no idea what you did, do you? Because of you, because of fucking Swan, the band is gone, the fantastic four? Gone, destroyed, shattered because you chose love over bros, and guess what? I'm done, I'm so fucking done with all of you, Jeff has a stick shoved up his ass every time he's remotely close to you, and Graham is fucking gone thanks to you!"

It took Killian a few seconds to absorb the low blow, the weight of his friend's accusation on his shoulders, and he took a few steps back. That was a talk he had feared to have; it had haunted his life with Emma, and weighted on him since they had gotten back together.

The proof was here; his doubts were justified, not some made up crazy scenario and idea he made up in his head like Emma had said he did.

"I can't believe you are all teaming up against me." He sighed, sitting down in the sand, hoping that in a way, it would make Victor calm down, and join him, which he did, even if he made sure to show Killian how pissed he was.

"Alright." He crossed his legs into a lotus position. "I'm sorry for getting worked up, but it's nevertheless the truth."

"Thanks a lot for that."

"What do you want me to say, Killian?" Victor laid down in the sand, rubbing his eyes, tiredness written all over his face. "The band is gone, it's never going to be the same."

"I'm also tired, or do you think I'm fine? That I enjoy seeing you all looking down at me for choosing to be happy with Emma? You all seem to forget that I was with her in the first place, and Graham hooked up with her the first chance he had, and I never saw you all pouting around him because of that."

"I was at your side buddy." Victor bit back, turning his head to the side to look him in the eyes. "I was at your side the whole time if I remember."

"And what are you doing now? You're holding it against me."

There was a pause where they both let the words sink down, or so did Killian think, the look on his friend's face could also be coming from all the alcohol. God knew Victor had drank too much and Killian not enough to handle this talk.

"Alright. I'm sorry, but I'm also tired of this whole situation, you can understand that."

"I do." Killian shook his head. "You have no idea how much I do. I can feel the awkward thing hanging between us, and let me tell you, I'm sorry for Graham getting hurt, but I surely won't be sorry for being back with Emma."

"I know."

Silence again, and this time, Victor took a pack of smokes out of his pocket and brought one to his lips, chewing the tip without actually lighting it up, and offered one to Killian. Of course, he accepted - he would take a chewing gum later and come up with an excuse for Emma - she would understand. After all, she was the one who had pushed him to go after Victor. Without regrets, Killian lit the cigarette, and offered fire to Victor who declined it.

"I shouldn't be sorry for being with Emma, just like I shouldn't be sorry I'm happy with her. Everyone treats me like I stole Emma - which is ridiculous because Emma is not a freaking propriety. She left me, she and Graham had a thing, and she came around and came back to me. I shouldn't feel sorry for that, I haven't done anything wrong." His rested his fingers and his thumb against his temple, the smoke still burning between them.

"You fucked her at the gazebo during the wedding reception."

Victor was actually grinning.

"I'm not denying it, it wasn't the right place, but the fact remains that it felt right. To be with her, not the actual banging, though it was, as you can guess, good."

"Ew, that's disgusting, you know." Victor let what seemed to be the first smile of the night curl on his lips, still chewing the smoke between his teeth.

"Says the guy who toyed with Jeff about the exact same thing."

"Yeah but it's a lot funnier when it's coming from me and you know it." He laughed, his hands digging into the sands like a two years' old child going to the beach for the first time. "I miss it you know, do you remember the old times? You, Graham, Jeff and me? All of us together, bros over hoes, no girls to keep us apart."

"Yeah but I have to make you remember that your girl is my girl's best friend." Killian pointed out, hitting him in the shoulder, taking out his smoke in the sand, and burying it under.

"Women." Victor corrected, surprising him by his maturity - an event Killian wanted to write down the date as a first. "You make us sound like teenagers."

"Aren't we quite serious about our "women", he chuckled, mimicking Victor's actions by digging his hands in the sand too; there was something quite calming about it, as if he were grounding himself on this very earth. The thought was philosophical, and quite absurd, and Killian couldn't even put that on the alcohol.

"Yes, I guess we are."

"Out with it, Whale."

Victor shrugged awkwardly. "It's complicated."

Killian beamed at him. "Come on."

"We grew up, you know, since university, it's all so complicated… I remember us being all juniors, dreaming of big futures and all, thinking that the world belonged to us…"

"It still does, you are going to be a doctor, Vic, that's big and impressive. I mean, look at me, I'm still a bartender." Killian's hand waved at himself, the motion deprecating. "It's a surprise that David Nolan hasn't kicked me away from his daughter."

"I'm pretty sure there was a wedding not so long ago." Victor chuckled, and Killian surprised himself when he joined him. "I'm sure Nolan would have married them himself just to get rid of you."

Okay, that wasn't funny and Killian made a face to make Victor understand he had gone too far.

"Are you happy, Killian?"

The question came out of the blue, Victor's voice shivering as he spoke, which was uncharacteristic for him, because he was always so smug and so sure of himself - on a lot of points, so much like Killian.

The answer didn't come instantly, to his surprise and to Victor's, who was now looking at him with big, surprised eyes; he had of course, expected a rushed "yes".

Killian stared at the moon, not even full, barely visible, playing hide and seek with the clouds. "It's not easy by any means, you know the lass, Emma isn't simple and I have my own demons as you well know. We are trying, so I guess that's what matters. We are happy together."

Again with the heavy silence, each of their thoughts weighting heavy in the air until Killian broke it. "What about you and Ruby, are you happy?"

"You really think I would be here with you if it were the case?"

"So much for my company", Killian tried to humor him but Victor only shook his head. "Okay, I don't believe it can be that bad, Victor, I can't believe that you and Ruby are this bad right now; I saw you with her."

"Did you? Because you surely haven't seen us lately, not a surprise though, you've been all busy with the love of your life." The last words were spoken as if they were poison on his tongue, something Killian took offense at, but he bit his tongue so he didn't jump at his friend's throat.

The night was long for him too. "You're tiring you know that? One moment you're all nice and friendly and the next one you're all bitter about me and Swan, did you prefer me miserable?"

"I didn't. But I miss us all being so close."

"Tell Jeff to get over himself and stop being a prick."

"Graham is coming back", Victor said out of the blue.

Graham was coming back.

Coming back.

From Ireland.

Killian accused the shock. "How do you know that?"

"I had him on the phone just two days ago. He was missing us all and he thought it was time for him to stop hiding."

Killian tried not to laugh bitterly. "You have to be kidding me." He stood up, checking his back pockets for another smoke. Scratching his forehead with two fingers, he closed his eyes trying to find the words. "Why hasn't he called me? I've been trying to talk to him since the whole thing-"

"You really think he wanted to talk to you after what you did to him- Don't hit me Jones, I'm just saying, after the way you flew away with Emma, there's no surprise that Graham isn't ready to be all buddy-buddy with you.'"

"Right." The next smoke was lit between Killian's his lips. "What should I do with Emma, tell her about it?" There was something about the news that had him reluctant about telling Emma; not that he didn't trust her, but Graham's coming back was something that had him slightly scared.

It was a topic they had buried this year, and he wasn't eager to dig it out and bring the ugly back to the surface.

Ring was on her finger, Killian told himself, and everything would be alright.

"No, I'm not doing this, I have enough of them with Ruby, I don't want to deal with your own problems; you do your cleaning, I will do mine." Victor stole the cigarette from Killian's lips. "Ruby has been trying to keep it a secret from Emma; she thinks that it's your business to tell her."

That was oh so kind of Ruby, Killian thought, and yet, she had a point.

"You're not going back home to her aren't you?" Killian changed the subject, he would deal with the Graham issue later, when his head stopped spinning with fears and crazy ideas. And preferably once he stopped smoking - Emma was totally going to freak out over his addiction being back full force - that, he would also deal with later on.

"No, not tonight. I'm not ready to face Ruby and have her give me the cold shoulder", Victor whispered, and if Killian wasn't hallucinating, his eyes were misty with tears.

"You love her, you will figure it out."

There were true tears in his eyes when Victor spoke, lifting his chin to meet Killian's stare, lips trembling. "Emma loved you when she left."

Offering him his hand, Killian pulled him back on his two feet. "Emma doesn't come from the same place as Ruby, she isn't scared of being with you, she wants more of you. That's quite the compliment here, mate, you found one that is ready to put up with you", Killian patted Victor's shoulder, trying to give him back some composure; he looked awfully like a little boy, his head shoved down between his shoulders.

"What if I can't give her enough? What if I can't give her what she needs?"

Words spoken into the air, Killian found nothing to say, Victor putting words on his own fears; all he could do was pull him into a hug, hoping it would get better. Victor broke down, a first for both of them, his sobs making his whole body shake with uncontrollable gasps.

Victor was having a panic attack, drowning in mid-thirty issues, holding onto his friend for dear life. Usually good with words and speeches, Killian found nothing to say, only patting and holding him as tightly as possible - the only way he knew how to reassure someone having a panic attack, bringing them back to earth by anchoring them to the ground, even if he had to crush Victor's ribs with the force of his embrace.

* * *

xxx

* * *

Emma was half-asleep when Killian joined her in their bed that night, his body molding to the shape of hers, his lips falling in her neck, kissing her shoulder and her cheek.

"How is he?"

"Not okay." Killian pressed his forehead against her shoulder, breathing her in - his own way to anchor himself to reality, his arms closing around her delicate waist maybe a little too tightly. "He's sleeping on the couch."

"Hum." Emma muffed into her pillow, bucking her hips into his, seeking closeness he was all too eager to give her, his arms bringing her back to him, her hair tickling his nose when he buried it in her messy sleepy head of hair.

"You okay with that?"

"Hum."

"Are you going to just hum at me?" His hand went under her shirt, his lips more insistent in her neck, kissing and sucking. "Are you only going to hum at me, hm?"

"Hum, keep going and I will maybe change my strategy", she smiled softly when his hand cupped the tender flesh of her breast, rolling a nipple between his fingers until he had her on her back, fully paying attention to him now, lips deliciously parted.

"I think I already did." His nose brushed against hers. "You're easy to win over, Swan."

Her laugh rang tired and sleepy, his hand going down to just rest on her hip - she lost weight he noticed. He arched his brow at her. "You're tired."

"My man," she widened her eyes, looking down at his body – covered - he hadn't planned to do anything and he was feeling tired after this shitty night, biting her lips, her face lightening with pride that warmed his heart. "Woke me up while I was trying to sleep."

Holding his weight on his elbows, Killian rested his head in his palm, his body hovering above hers, "Your man missed you and wanted to say goodnight." Years of being with her had taught him the way to ignite her body, to make her smile and to make her laugh, so when he ducked his head into the crook of her neck, he left light pecks everywhere he could reach, making her arch against him, her legs tangling with his.

"And that would have been a tempting activity to do and a nice way to go to bed, but alas, you brought your friend."

Killian lifted his head, his fingers going under her chin, his thumb stroking that little dimple he loved so much. "Can't you be quiet?"

"I can but I don't wanna. I'm not a teenage girl anymore." She kissed his nose before rolling away from him, setting her alarm clock for tomorrow. "You should have thought twice before bringing your friend here."

"You're sure a 100% you're okay with him right?" Killian pulled the blankets back over them properly, opening his arms for her so she could snuggle against him.

"Sure." Emma groaned against his shirt, her head resting on his chest, right under his chin, and of course, her cold feet pressing against his. "Now sleep, okay?"

"Yeah."

"Unless there's something you want to tell me?"

Graham.

Killian pressed his lips against her forehead, closing his eyes, and he swallowed thickly, holding her against him, keeping himself grounded here, with her, his hand rubbing her back to remind him that this was real, this was his life.

"No, there's nothing." He whispered. "Goodnight love."

Everything would be fine, he sang in his head as sleep swallowed him whole.

.

.

.

.

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**To be continued. _Reviews?_**

**This is the first chapter of the sequel of What the Water Gave Me, the story has been in my mind for a while, and I always knew what was going to happen to Emma and Killian after their "happy ending". I hope you will stick with me through this new journey, you know me, and you know how I love to make these two suffer, I hope you're going to love it as much as the last story. Thank to everyone who's been a support, Montana, Lexi, Ece and Irene, and everyone who has followed the first part. **

**Love to all, **

**Adri**


	2. The Enemy

a/n : Thank you all for your kind words and the follows/favorites! I can only tell you to listen to Mumfords and Sons "Dust Bowl Dance" and "The Enemy", two songs that heavily inspired this chapter. **  
**

* * *

Chapter Two: The Enemy

* * *

After all reasoning, it wasn't as if this was much of a good idea; they didn't tell you that in movies, but when the good guy - the very fact that he dared to fit himself in the role was a joke alone - would go out to get his girl the coffee and some pastries, Killian was pretty sure he didn't get caught in a crazy rain pouring on him and soaking him through to the bones.

The script wasn't exactly right in his story though; he wasn't just going out for a coffee for the girl he had made beautiful sweet love last night - the love making hadn't been in the cards last night and he was getting coffee for Emma and for his best friend Victor.

If a coffee could still be called such after being in the rain; for sure he would have to do some at home.

At least the croissants were safe, tucked under his jacket, bought at the closest bakery, known to be Emma's favorite; they had been saved. He jogged through the streets and it was in moments like this that he missed having his car, but after a beat of reflection, he had settled for a walk, but that, of course, had been before Mother Nature decided to fuck up his day, starting with this morning.

If Victor was here, he would have told Killian that it was a sign, fate telling him to go shower ASAP. Unfair, extremely unfair because he was as clean as a baby, and even cleaner now that he had taken a rain shower.

Jumping up the stairs of his building because of-fucking-course, the elevator was not working (had it ever been), keys in hand and soaked pants low on his hips, he finally came back home, forcing the door open with his hip, the bag with the pastries between his teeth; he was pretty sure everything was messed up now.

Emma was already there, ruining the surprise and making him sigh, his shoulders falling down at the sight of her.

"You're back already?" Emma arched a brow in the kitchen; she was wearing his heavy sweat shirt the one he had wondered where it was, and no surprise there because she had taken a special taste in his shirts lately; she always loved stealing them, but now it was getting more of a problem.

Miss Swan had thought it would be good in the morning after her shower, and as if this wasn't enough, she was pouring herself coffee in a mug they had gotten from a trip to Amsterdam. (Once upon a time, Emma's father had offered them to go for a trip, and Killian, after months and months of begging, had finally given in, sucking up his pride.)

Wonderful.

His eyes almost did a 360 in his head and his breath came in an annoyed ragged sigh; coordination was lacking to their couple, not just about coffee making, but in general. Killian was mostly tired of his morning adventure though, and he tried to keep that in mind as he tossed the coffee on the counter, heading to the bathroom without addressing a word to Emma, who tried to stop him but quickly released him when he jerked his arm from her grip.

And for good measure, he even gave a kick to the sofa where Victor was sleeping. The kick made his friend jump, and good riddance too; Killian grumbled in his beard as he closed the door behind him.

His eyes sought his reflection in the tiny rectangular mirror; he had guessed right, he looked like shit, soaked and wet to the bones, his hair was all over his skull, drops of water rolling down his neck, his shirt good for the laundry, and his jeans were just as messy as the rest. Killian rested his hands on the sink, trying to put some orders in his thoughts, his breathing was calm and settled, yet, he could feel it in his fingertips, the calm before the storm, Graham's name echoing in his ears, the staccato of blood bumping in his head, flooding his brain with information he didn't want to take into account. He was coming back; no phone call, no "hey, I'm coming back in town and I don't want to see you ever again, p.s. our bff hates you for breaking the band". Leaning against the mirror of the bathroom, hovering right above the sink, Killian hit his forehead against the cool surface, barely making any sound, or none that could be heard outside this room.

It was stupid, how he was overreacting over a dumb cup of coffee, and how he was just pissed at getting completely messed up by the rain, a behavior that he would despise if it had been one of his friends; too much tension, too much fear and God this whole thing was ridiculous.

For sure, Graham was coming back, but it wasn't so much of a big deal, right? Aside from the fact that Killian was just rambling in a bathroom like a typical teenager girl, or boy, for that matter, the situation was fine.

Fine. He breathed through his nose, longingly, making sure his brain was oxygenated enough, and hoping for better thoughts.

It was alright.

Right?

Victor's snoring answered him. So fucking chic.

The buzz in his pocket forced him to pull back from his reverie, and he pressed his lips together, his eyes narrowing when he saw the caller ID on his phone.

Mr. Gold.

That couldn't be good news, and Killian swallowed thickly, pressing the phone to his ear; he took a breath, trying to steady his voice as best as one could with your boss on the line.

"Killian Jones, 'allo?"

"Jones, I've been looking for you for days", Mr. Gold's noisy voice spoke calmly. "I don't care what are your reasons for that", he added when Killian tried to offer an explanation, he had truly no idea that Mr. Gold was looking for him. "I'm calling you because I'm selling the bar."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me, Mr. Jones. The bar's profits aren't good enough for me to continue this; I can't keep it open anymore, so I will close the bar and turn it into another shop of my convenience, one that should bring more profits."

"But it's working fine; we are always busy with customers, always full every night", Killian argued, walking up and down in the small room, scratching his scalp. "You can't just sell it."

"I got offers from several persons interested in it, and I will communicate you my decision at the end of the week, Mr. Jones. Until then, keep the place clean and decent, possible buyers are going to come by to visit the place, and I trust you and Ms. Harper to keep it perfectly presentable."

"What about our jobs?" The words came out between Killian's teeth; he was trying hard to keep a lid on his temper, his hand smacking against his forehead - this couldn't be happening. Numbers in his bank account came through his mind, rushing in his head, mixing with other problems that situation was going to bring them; his life with Emma, his rent, how would they pay for everything.

"You will receive an indemnity and then the rest of it is none of my concern. Inform Ms. Harper of the matter and then I will tell you what will happen to the bar."

"You can't do this, the bar is working just fine and it's-"

"I didn't call to have your opinion on the matter, this is the end of our talk Mr. Jones. Goodbye."

With that, Mr. Gold hung up, and Killian dropped the phone into the sink.

Bloody fucking hell. Killian groaned, hitting his forehead against the mirror.

How would they face the future, how would they pay the rent; it was out of question to ask Emma's parents for help because his ego wouldn't stand it, and he wouldn't be able to face David Nolan's stare if he did this.

They were after all waiting for him to do something of the sort; fail, fall on his knees and let Emma go. He didn't need to give them more reasons to dig his grave.

There was no way out of this, no way to stop Gold; the man had never loved him and the feeling was gladly reciprocated by Killian, but damn, this was the last thing he needed.

He refused to be Emma's burden, refused to ask for help.

Speaking of Emma, a tiny hand curled around his arm; he hadn't even heard her coming in and he blamed her habit of walking in bare feet for that. She smelled like coffee, and she had taken off the sweater to reveal a black top; she was bra-less, and he loved her this way to be quite honest.

"Are you okay?" She asked after making him move so he was sitting on the edge of the tub, a surprise in an apartment as restricted like his, theirs, he corrected himself as Emma stood between his legs, her hands on his shoulders.

"Yeah." His hand curled around the bottom of her top, pulling her closer until he could rest his head on top of her chest, listening to her heartbeat. Her lips landed somewhere in his hair, on his forehead, but something made her put some distance between their bodies, her lips twisting into a grimace, eyebrows flinching up.

"You're icky and wet."

"That what happens when one goes outside when it's raining."

Her hand brushed his hair aside before she turned around, kneeling in front of the cupboard under the sink and looking for a towel, his eyes lingering on her legs. How could he not, and it was as good distraction as any, one that had the advantage of taking his mind away from this mess he was in. She quickly found it and stood up to put it around his neck with a grin.

"m sorry, I don't know what got you in this mood, but if it helps, I'm sorry."

He crossed his arms on his chest, the posture defensive. "You haven't done anything wrong."

Something in his voice didn't convince her, judging by the way the corners of her mouth lifted upward, and yet, Emma seemed to know better than to push it, which something he was grateful for, and instead, she simply dried off his hair, her thumb often brushing over his temple. For good measure, he had placed his hands on her waist, steadying her in her movement. He might not be able to see her, but he could still feel the way her body tensed up, and imagine her frowning, the wrinkle between her brows bumping up on her forehead.

Once she was satisfied with his hair, she moved to his neck, pressing the cloth to his skin in a gentle and tender motion, as he guessed she was really focused on her task, her expression pensive as she drew closer.

"I have a bad feeling."

Her voice was a whisper when she spoke, her lips pressed to his forehead, her hands leaving the towel resting on his shoulders so her fingers could tangle in his hair, gripping it almost too tightly.

"About us?"

Emma narrowed her eyes at him, pulling away just enough to study him; he didn't know quite well what she was after, staring at him this way, but whatever she was looking for, she seemed to find it, satisfaction drawing on her features, a grin showing up on her mouth.

"Nah, you idiot."

He didn't have a chance to retort; her mouth too intoxicating once that it was pressed against his own, coaxing him into oblivion (of course it was working), his fingers curling on her hipbone and drawing her closer despite the precarious balance he had on the edge of the tub. He delved his tongue between her lips, parting her delicious mouth as he felt her arms tighten around his neck.

"I love you", he whispered, kissing her deeply and thoroughly, his tongue licking her lips before tangling with hers.

He didn't give her time to answer. After all, it was how they worked, he would say the words, make the speeches, use brand new words and put down the definition of them on paper, in the air or simply in her heart and she would write them down on their bodies, kissing him, showing him, a hand against his abdomen, fingers gripping his hair, lips branding his and claiming them hers, her eyes holding his, he would talk and she would show. A dance they had learned by now, accepted, loved, and didn't need to speak of to accord themselves of each other's rhythm.

The temperature raised; his hands had forgotten manners and found their way back onto her body. He knew her, how to touch her, how to coax her closer, how to draw a moan from her lips, kissed and sealed with his own as soon as the sound escaped her. He knew the map of her body for having traced patterns on it a thousand times, and yet after so many times, so many touches, caresses and strokes, he still found himself amazed, in awe with her, never flirting with boredom. He knew how to make her moan, gasp, squirm or arch, knew that a kiss left in the crook of her neck, the right pressure added there would make her moan this loud, angle her body to his, he knew that a knee pressed between her tights would make her angle upward and mostly coax her to hook a leg around his waist.

That, that he loved about them, the way he knew her this well.

There were things he could reproach to their couple, their dalliance, as Killian would sometimes joke about, but that one thing he could never hold against them was being with her, as hard as it could get; it was never boring, there was always something in the way her lips curled up, the way her fingers snapped into his hair, the way she arched against him, blonde messy hair falling around them like a curtain. It had him aching, craving, and loving her all that much more.

"Killian." Her tone was meant to be a warning, but it was a dying sound, her will gone when his palm encountered the soft, warm flesh of her breast; she was gone, lost, and he received her gladly in his arms when she seemed to lose her balance, her mouth leaving his to brush over his ear, a muted moan brushing over his neck as she buried her head there.

"Emma."

Breathless, Emma yanked his head back with the firm grip she had in his hair, before he had a chance to continue the exploration of her neck further down. "Your friend is on the couch."

He shook his head, chuckling low in his chest before hovering his lips above hers, humming contentedly.

"My girlfriend is right here."

She yanked his head back again.

"You quite love my hair don't you, lass? Are we doing this the rough way?" He got on his feet so she had to look up to meet his eyes, completely invading her personal space, his hand came up to cradle her head, brushing over the apple of her cheek before stroking the dimple on her chin, a spot he loved on her face, kissing her nose playfully.

"Now is not the moment nor the place. And as for your hair I only love it when it's dry, if not, you look like a wet dog."

"A sexy dashing rapscallion,"

"An arrogant wet dog."

"Your dashing, handsome boyfriend?"

Emma shoved him away slightly, her hand gripping the collar of his still wet shirt. "You're such an ass." Her nose bumped against his, her tongue tracing the arc of his bottom lip, "You're lucky I like you."

"Only like me?" He bit her earlobe. "I thought you quite liked my hair back in that shower the other day, I can remember, you gripping it so tightly when I was-"

Emma covered his mouth with her hand, shushing him with a lovely blush on her cheeks. "You shut the fuck up Jones or I will kill you."

"You wouldn't."

"I'm pretty sure Victor would help me bury your body."

Killian raised an eyebrow, slightly opening his lips. "You gave this a lot of thought, didn't you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She shrugged, chin up, chest out, cocking her head to the side, the strap of her top falling off her shoulder, catching his attention.

Walking her backward, it wasn't long until he had her pressed against the door of the bathroom, his bad thoughts from earlier gone, forgotten with the sudden buzz in his veins at her contact; he sensed the goosebumps on her arms and wrapped his arms around her waist to give her a soft kiss, his nose nuzzling her cheek, then her neck and her collarbone. Her breathing was in time with her shivers, her body seeking his warmth, her hands leaving his neck to embrace his middle.

"If you two are getting at it, can you just hold on a second so I can pee, my balls are going to turn blue", Victor's sleepy voice came from behind the door, stopping them dead in their tracks, making Emma gasp and hide her face in the crook of Killian's neck, laughing.

"I'm going to kill him", Killian muffed against Emma's ear, loud enough for her to hear it, his annoyed mood calmed down by Emma pressing a kiss to his cheek, telling him in an mild voice that she would help him bury the body and run to Canada if they had too. To prove her point, she curled her body upward to meet his, a promise for the next night if they managed to be quiet, her teeth grazing his earlobe.

"Come on, coffee is ready."

She managed to make him move, her hand in his; she had such tiny hands he thought, grabbing her fingers and lacing them with his own, holding onto her as she lead him out, Killian ignoring Victor's grimace before he closed the door behind him, and of course locked it. Out of the bathroom, their little exchange seemed to be over and Emma put a vest back on her shoulders.

Even if he was still vibrating from their make out session, there was something stunning to see her moving in his kitchen, theirs, so casual and so-

"Will you talk to him?"

He stopped Emma from reaching for the orange juice in the fridge, her hand in the air, half between two movements. His words made her pivot on her tip toes, looking back at him over her shoulder. "About what?"

"About Ruby, about what's going on and how he should fix the mess."

Again with the musing, Emma walked to the coffee bag and grabbed her cup, her face taking on a serious expression., "What do you know?"

"That he's a mess, that he doesn't know what to do to fix his relationship with Ruby." Killian's neck got scratchy and he rubbed the already red skin. Not only was the conversation making both Emma and him uncomfortable, but he was also aware that he was using it to avoid another more awkward and shameful conversation.

"You know she's my friend."

Something in her eyes asked for forgiveness, and his were flying away, avoiding, trying to find an escape.

"And you know he's mine."

"I know, but if Victor wants to fix this, being on our couch isn't the solution."

Killian leaned against the counter, crossing his arms on his chest and checking behind him to see if Victor was coming out of the bathroom, but the sound of the water instantly reassured him that he couldn't hear them. Emma had unpacked the pastries, placing them on a plate, and was now sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen, drinking her coffee.

"She wants to see him care about their future, to know if he does see them together in five years, and she needs to hear some things from him."

Killian chuckled, that was Ruby and he now understood better why Victor had freaked out and why he was so out of it. "We are talking about Victor here. Ruby should know he's head over heels in love with her; Jefferson and I had never seen him changed before he met her."

Carefully, Emma placed her drink at her right, cocking her head to the side, before eating the whole pastry in one bite, the action making him smile; it looked like she was afraid it would be stolen.

"I'm afraid it's not enough. You know Ruby, she needs more, she's like, planning ten years ahead, she needs to be sure, and she is scared that Victor doesn't imagine a future for them. You can't blame her for that."

Killian's attention got sucked into her words, every single syllable ricocheting in her mind, his eyes widening at the hardness of her tone, a coldness on her face that he didn't know, or one he had tried to forget after they had gotten back together. The double meaning to her words hadn't escaped him, and they were sharp to hear, like an arrow she had sent flying at him, and even after months of therapy it still skinned the flesh wide open. The said therapy had consisted of having a lot of sex and Sunday mornings in beds, watching their favorite TV shows.

"Victor is like a big child, he is trying to finish medical school if you haven't noticed, he isn't exactly in the right place to wonder what he is going to do in 5 years! I'm not even sure he knows what specialization he is going to choose."

Emma placed the dishes in the sink, turning her back at him for a brief second, probably contemplating her own reply; Killian was grateful for that, because they were on a slippery slope, and both of them were aware of that fact.

But Emma had no idea how slippery the slope really was, a voice in his head (conscience?) reminded him not so gently. He pushed the thought away, later, he made himself a promise, he would deal with that later, when his heartbeat calmed down, and when he found a solution on his own.

After a brief moment of awkward silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts, Emma decided to cross the gap the talk had created, jump over it to close the distance, walking to him and resting her hands on his sides.

"Let's not argue over this, this isn't about us yeah?" Her hand stroked the corner of his mouth. "Don't let their problems get to you, it's their issues, not ours." Coming closer, she bit his earlobe. "Plus, I totally intend having my way with you tonight, friend on the couch or not."

Her remark barely got him to smile, and he kissed her back out of habits when she pressed a kiss to his lip before leaving for the bedroom, just in time for Victor to come out of the bathroom, hair wet, of course, wearing his bathrobe.

"What?" Victor waved his hands up in the air, looking at Killian with an incredulous expression.

xxx

Emma's hand came to rest on top Killian's, her nails grazing his knuckles gently on the gear shift of the car, and he caught a glimpse of a smile from the corner of his eyes, or, rather, his sunglasses.

"You okay?"

"He's okay, moving along, Jones got his period Emma, stop babysitting him."

"Remind me why we decided to take you with us?" Killian looked in the rearview mirror of the car. This whole trip was a bad idea; the whole thing was no good because they were all heading to the Nolans' house, to celebrate Jefferson's birthday.

He had almost forgotten about it.

"Because you can't handle this party without your co-pilot at your side."

Emma laughed, looking around at Victor. "He's taken, you're taken, what even? We are going to my parents'. What do you think this is going to be? You'll be lucky if there's alcohol."

"Oh come on! This is Jefferson's party, not Grace's. What is a party without alcohol?" Victor protested, shaking his head. "This is bullshit. This isn't the party of a five-year-old girl!"

"We are going to my parents'; what did you expect?" Emma giggled, truly enjoying Victor's despair. It seemed like they were getting along better since they had shared a meal, but Killian wasn't so sure it would last, because the magic of Victor's bologna could only work a certain time.

"A decent party to celebrate my best buddy's 32nd birthday. Not a party at Granny and Grandpa's."

"Hush now. You're talking about Emma's parents", Killian stepped in the conversation, glaring at Victor.

"And your step-parents, sure, Killian, you're just trying to be polite for Emma's sake."

Killian rolled his eyes, Victor sighted and Emma caressed his forearm. "He knows he won't get any tonight if he doesn't behave. Killian knows when to be nice."

"Whipped", Victor coughed. "And I don't want to hear what you mean by getting some. This is simply disgusting. It's enough that you two were about to do the wild thing while I was peacefully sleeping next door."

Killian coaxed his car to go faster, shaking his head. "I didn't know you were the prude kind."

"I'm not the voyeur kind, I like to share, but not to hear my best friend "getting some" with his girlfriend. Thank you but no. I'm not a prude, but sorry, Emma, you're not the exciting kind of girl to me."

"If you're not happy, you could have made the trip with Ruby", Killian snapped, his hands gripping the wheel tighter. He immediately regretted his words when Victor's face fell, his lips quivering in an attempt to form a reply, but he kept his mouth sealed, not saying a word, eyes shifting to the window.

That is how you kill the mood, Killian thought, feeling guilty for doing this to Victor, when, not so long ago, it was him at such a place. This wasn't how you showed gratitude for God's sake.

Exchanging a glance with Emma, she offered him a small comforting smile.

"Ruby sent me a text", Emma surprised them both, craning her neck so she could look at Victor, and Killian was surprised at the sweetness with which she said the words, meaning to bring some peace to Victor's stormy thoughts. "She misses you, and she would come to the party if it wasn't for the awkward situation it would create."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because even though she would kill me for saying it to you, I think you need something to hold onto, some hope." Her eyes went to Killian for a brief moment, as if, once again, there was a double meaning in her words.

"Can you… Can you tell her I miss her, and I love her, and I'm sorry about this?" Never had Victor sounded more vulnerable than this instant, his voice close to sounding like one of a child.

Emma's expression softened even more, if that was possible. "I will tell her you will come back home soon."

At her words, Victor seemed to become more serene, his features lifting up in a content smile, his attention going back to the window, and he looked definitely more peaceful than a few minutes ago.

Killian gave Emma a proud smile, his thumb caressing the back of her hand, his chest tightening with love.

Maybe it wasn't all up to the bologna, maybe there was hope for these two to get along in the end.

Maybe they would find a way after all, and maybe his problems could find a solution too. Looking at Emma, Killian very much wanted to believe that.

Hope, she had said, they just needed to hold onto hope; he would hold onto her then.

Emma had always claimed to have a superpower when it came to lies, and Killian didn't disagree on that; a simple stare could reduce him to a pudding of a man and unable to lie to her, the green piercing light of her eyes making it quite impossible, but then again, once could argue that he was just reduced to a simple man, in love with a woman.

That version was very likely to be the truth about them.

She was able to detect lies, she said, thought her senses tended to be confused, mixed up with old fears when it came to him; he had learned to forgive her, to put up with her (that he doubted he had had to learn how to, it came naturally, with love, of course) but mostly he had learned to face demons with her.

No, her super power was lying right here, in the corners of her lips, the crook of her smile, the way she canted her head to offer a grin.

Hope.

That was Emma Swan-Nolan's superpower. Irony requested, against all odds, that she had no idea of it.

xxx

"Emma!" Mrs. Nolan greeted her daughter warmly, pressing two kisses on her cheeks as she held her closely, checking her for any sign of tiredness.

She had run to Emma from the doorframe, and Jefferson, who had been standing at her right had remained there, arms crossed on his chest, watching them arrive.

Killian had, as the perfect boyfriend, parked the car and took their bags, Victor probably laughing his ass off with Jefferson, who had, of course, came to Victor to welcome his friend.

Killian tried not to care, or notice for that matter; David Nolan went to help him with the bags, murmuring in a low voice something about "women", as if his tone was supposed to give away his thoughts.

It was a small grin the patriarch of the Nolan house managed to drag out of him, but one nevertheless before he entered the house and ran upstairs to drop the bags. At the sight of the heavy bed, prepared by Mrs. Nolan, the urge to just lay down and bury his head in the pillow grew stronger.

But alas, he had to respect the etiquette and follow the protocol; he very much doubted that Emma could hold her promise of "having her way with him tonight". He had to greet his mother in law, and his pouting 5-year-old-like-ex or maybe not ex best friend Jefferson.

Like a child, Killian fell onto the mattress, giving in to it comfort and loving how it accepted his weight, burying his nose into the pillow; Mrs. Nolan surely knew how to welcome her guests.

Speaking of which, it was time to face adulthood and go downstairs-

"Uncle Killian!" Grace's melodic voice surprised him before she crashed on his back, hugging him as best as she could, her tiny nose buried between his shoulder blades.

"Princess of mine." He tried to be gentle, rolling around to hug her properly, fingers playing with her braid. "How are you? Oh God I missed you tiny little face!" His fingers encountered her nose, poking it gently.

"I'm happy you're back, and I am not tiny!"

"Get on your feet then, princess, let me look at you."

Grace stood up, looking proud with her chest up and hands on her hips, looking from her 8-year-old full height. "I am an adult now."

"Are you?" Killian smiled, tugging on her braid. "You're quite the beautiful lass."

Her cold and tiny hands came up to cup his cheeks, a beaming smile on her lips. "You're beautiful too, Killy."

Killian hugged her legs and lifted her up in his arms, hooking her on his hip. "What did we say about this? Killy is for girls."

"I'm a girl." Grace crossed her arms on her chest, pouting adorably. "And I like Killy for you."

She was his baby girl, he couldn't resist those brown eyes, so warm and so lovely looking right at him. Humming a tune, Killian started walking down the hall to find the rest of the finally. "Let's make a deal then." He said as he took the stairs. "You and only you can call me Killy."

"And Aunt Ruby."

How did you explain to an 8-year-old that her admired and worshiped aunt could maybe never come back (not that he didn't trust Victor to win her back and prove what she needed to her); he just couldn't ignore the other possibility.

Ruby might never cross the door of this house ever again. The thought pained him; he had always liked the girl, even if he had had his disagreement with her in the past, but again, it was only on the behalf of her loyalty to Emma, which he had afterward and still did, appreciated and admired.

"Just you and me, okay?" He conceded playing with her hair gently, rocking her in his arms as if she were still a toddler. "Aunt Ruby would never let me live in peace, it would be our little secret."

Grace seemed to consider the deal thoroughly, but then she nodded and they arrived downstairs, the whole family turning toward them.

Emma's smile could have lit the room, her arm still around her father's waist who was tugging her into a half hug.

"There you are." Jefferson laughed, tilting his head to the side, "Come down and say hello to everyone."

The crowd seemed to intimidate Grace, who hid her face in Killian's shoulder. Endeared, Killian kissed her temple and rubbed her back, trying to coax her out of her shyness. "Go on little love, say hello." He whispered in her ear, slowly putting her down on the floor.

It was unusual of her to be that shy; Killian had heard from Emma and Victor that Grace wasn't always getting along with Alice, Jefferson's fiancé. Maybe it was that after all, he thought and scratched his ear absentmindedly, glancing at her briefly; they exchanged a pointed look before Grace jumped in her aunt's arms, Emma pressing two loud and wet kisses on her cheeks.

Jefferson's eyes were severe and sharp when Killian met his cold stare.

xxx

The dinner happened in a quite cheerful spirit; Grace told them all about her school project, how she had gotten a part in a play and how excited she was, though worried and nervous about acting on a stage. Her shyness long time forgotten, she beamed at Killian; she had insisted to sit between her grandfather and her uncle.

Jefferson had as always kept his manners and had smiled at a joke or two, whispering into Alice's ear or telling Grace to eat this or that or straighten her back, answering in his own polite and discrete way to his mother's questions.

Victor of course, was the only person who managed to coax a smile out of Jefferson; these two hadn't stopped exchanging accomplice gazes and laughing at each other jokes.

Jealous? No, Killian refused to qualify himself as such, he was not jealous. He had been jealous in the past; Graham, the name spun in his mind, and it felt like a blow to his chest, but being jealous of a friend?

Again, nothing new.

But still.

Alright, maybe a little though, because he was not a part of this, they weren't the band who used to be tied up like the fingers of a hand. As if she had sensed his mood, Emma put her hand on his thigh, trying to make him loose his fist so he would relax.

Looking away, Killian jerked his hand away from her; the gesture had been more of a reflex than something he had intended to do. The whole thing was giving him a rash and making him sweat; he ignored how she moved back in his seat, surprised and slightly hurt, and he looked away, focusing on Grace, putting his arm on the back of her chair, the other resting on the table, his index finger and thumb playing with his fork.

He felt guilty for reacting this way, but the situation was too stressful, even despite the fact that David Nolan was quite nice and charming tonight.

"Killian?" Emma's father caught his attention by calling him over a plate of cheese. "Can I get some help in the kitchen with the cake?"

"Sure thing."

He got up, and as he passed behind Emma, Killian rested his hand on her shoulder, caressing her hair in the process, his own way of apologizing for his moody behavior. And, for good measure, he sharply looked at Jeff over the table before going to join David.

"Sit", the old man told him, gesturing to the seat next to the kitchen island, before squeezing between the fridge and Killian.

"How's the bar business going?"

Killian tilted his head the side; he didn't like this and had no desire to discuss the subject with his father in law and give him more reason to hold his "bad boy" attitude against him.

"I'm doing my best."

"I'm sure your father must be proud of you."

The words might have sounded as a compliment, but it was in fact a blow under the belt, one Killian hadn't seen coming, and he was puzzled as to why David would say such a thing to him; he knew, for God's sake, and Killian had thought they were over their differences, better yet, he had thought they had come to the point where they could be friendly with each other.

Father in law and son in law joking with a beer in front of a game had been a thing not so long ago, two weeks ago, to be precise.

"I guess that is of no importance, is it? There is nothing to be proud of when there is no father around." Killian asserted icily between his teeth. "I do my best and I hope to become the owner of a bar one day. There's no one I'm making proud of but myself, and of course, Emma."

He felt his blood pumping in his temples, the veins on his forehead throbbing furiously; if there was a forbidden subject, it was this one.

"That was indelicate of me, but you can't hold it against me since I'm Emma's father, I need to know where you stand in this, where you are going and what your future holds."

"Are you going to read the lines on my hand?" His tongue had rolled against his teeth. "Or do you have a crystal bowl to see my future? Because this seems like I'm being interrogated, and if so, I would like to know what am I guilty of before having my head cut off."

David Nolan chewed it over, trying to regain some calm, the vein on his forehead spelling nothing good for Killian as he set down the cake made for Jefferson's birthday. "I cannot let this happen twice. I will not allow it. I swore I would never let Emma get in that kind of situation and have a man like you or Cassidy hurt her."

"Mr. Nolan-"

"No." David tapped his fist on the counter, his shoulders tense. "You don't realize what you're doing, right? How you're messing up with all the plans we had- Emma had in mind."

Killian narrowed his eyes at his father in law, not quite understanding what he meant by that.

What did he and Jefferson have to do with Emma's plans? Killian got on his feet, chin up and fingers splayed on the table. "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to take the blame here. I'm in no way responsible and I have nothing to be sorry for. And I will not be put in the same category as a man I despise as much as you do."

David turned red, frozen as he stared at him with wide eyes. "I thought you were a good man with some kind of morals, Killian."

Killian refused to take insults, breathing heavily through his nose, "And I hadn't taken you for one to jump at conclusions." They were probably heard in the living room, but he couldn't bring himself to care, his blood boiling in his veins. "I will not be insulted this way with wrong accusations when you know nothing on the matter, Mr. Nolan, father in law or not, I won't stay still taking your accusations."

"Dad! What the Hell!" Emma interrupted them, storming in the kitchen with bright eyes flashing with alarm. "Stop it. He doesn't know!" She came to stand at Killian's side.

Both men turned toward her, David with embarrassment, looking between Killian and her, and Killian looking shocked and lost.

What the bloody Hell was this?

"Mind to explain?" Killian asked Emma, being tired of the show this was turning into; thank God Jefferson, Alice, Mary Margaret and Grace didn't follow, but it was obvious they were hearing the sounds of the quarrel from afar.

He hoped they had put Grace to bed.

"Can- Can we go out for a second?"

She touched his arm, trying to calm him down like she so many times did, but this time, it didn't work; his whole body tensed up as he saw her father watching them patronizingly.

It was too much.

"I think it's better for everyone else if I just take my leave", he said to David, going to the hall, grabbing his jacket and putting his arms in the sleeves. "Excuse me for not staying at a house I'm not welcomed in, or worse, being compared to the man who broke you." His stare ended on Emma unfairly; she gulped and followed him outside, stopping him from slamming the door behind him.

"Killian!"

"No!" He turned around, yelling. "What the bloody fuck was that back in the kitchen?!" Arriving to the car, he pressed his palm against the top of it, his nails scratching the paint.

Too much.

He hit the wheel with his foot, groaning, before jerking back to Emma. "I'm trying so hard, Emma, so hard and yes, I fuck up sometimes. Your father is never going to accept me, no matter how hard I try; when I think he's finally getting over his repulsion for me, it's all back full force in my face. He's never going to get over Graham, your oh so fucking perfect fiancé and I will always be compared to Neal, always." He didn't care if she flinched at her ex-lovers names.

Lost, Killian tried to look around him, trying to find something to hold onto, an anchor; his hands went in his hair, scratching, gripping, pulling and trying to find some solution to the mess he had made, found himself in, Emma not even seen in front of him.

He didn't want to see her, he didn't want her to be present in his moment of madness, all hell breaking loose, hot blood pulsing in his veins.

"I love you, I always had and I always will, I try to make you safe, to make you happy, to give you reassurance when you have fears and doubts."

"I know you do! I know and I love you."

"It doesn't seem enough for them." Killian shook his head, biting his bottom lip looking everywhere but at her. "What are they going to say the day I marry you, when we start a family, where are we going?"

"I'm sorry", Emma's voice came to his ears and she closed the distance between them, holding his face with her cold palms, pressing her forehead to his. She was on her tip toes, trying to reach his full height, to keep up with him and bring him to shore, away from his stormy thoughts, and he did nothing to make it easier for her, not bending down to hold her, even if her whole body was shaking with sobs, her chest heaving up and down in a ragged rhythm. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't care what he thinks, I care what you think."

"Graham is coming."

The words came out of the blue, and made her take two steps back, her arms falling at her sides as Killian leaned against his car, shoving his hands into his pockets. His gaze was probably cold, her position told him so; she was trembling, her lips curled into a grimace quickly covered by a shaking hand.

"He's coming here for Jefferson and Victor, I guess. I knew it for a while, from Victor, mind you, Graham would never call me again."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Accusations were implied heavily in her tone, her glare hardening.

"Does it matter?"

"It's a question of trust."

"I didn't think it mattered", Killian chuckled coldly, his tone laced with bitterness when he pressed on. "He doesn't want to see us, I bet."

"That doesn't mean you couldn't have told me", Emma bit back, hugging herself; he should give her his jacket because it was obvious she was freezing, but he found himself to be quite frozen right there, unable to move.

"Again, I didn't think that telling you your ex-lover was coming back in town mattered. Does it to you? Matter I mean?" He pinched his nose with two fingers, breathing through it. "For you to know that your ex-lover is coming back."

"Stop saying that." Emma cursed. "This is not what I wanted to talk about." She bit her bottom lip, clearly angry at him, her eyes narrowed.

"What is it then? About your father? About your brother? Unable to stay in the same room as me and be barely respectful? Or do you want to talk about your fucked up boyfriend/fiancé or soon to be whatever I am, fucking up his only job." His words punched, kicked, and threw hooks around him, his throat sore with too many words held back for far too long, anger turning him hot.

"What?" Emma blinked.

Surprise was written all over her face, her eyes wide as she took a step forward but she stopped dead in her tracks when he looked down.

He wanted to run, he wanted to be away from this, her family, and right now, from her. Having looked at David Nolan with pride earlier, telling him he was not looking for anyone's opinion on him, no one to be proud of him, it had been a lie.

He only cared about how she saw him.

"They are selling the bar."

Her arms went to her stomach, wrapped around her middle.

"I'm pregnant", she said in a whisper, tears pearling at the corners of her eyes.

_**Reviews?**_


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